Go to jail, Paris Hilton. Go directly to jail

Soon-to-be jailbird Paris Hilton is trying to mount (no pun intended) a public relations campaign by petitioning Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger to keep her rich little body from serving the 45-day sentence she was handed down.
All together now: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
All in favor? (Silence).
Opposed: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Though we somehow feel the teensiest bit sorry for her predicament, Paris Hilton has no one to blame but her stupid self for getting into this one. Of course, in the beginning, it wasn't her fault. She started out blaming her publicist, Elliot Mintz (whose past clients have included John Lennon and Yoko Ono. Talk about tough jobs.) First, she fired him, then quietly rehired him. Oh, maybe it wasn't totally his fault. Totally.
Her Free Paris website (find it yourself, I refuse to link to it) is even selling "stuff" through Cafepress.com to raise money for this campaign. Raise money?? Doesn't Paris Hilton have money?? She needs to raise a defense fund??
What a joke.
Go to jail, Paris. Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go.